There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
