wakey wakey hands off snakey
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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