Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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