do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize