Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
