I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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