Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
