Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
