If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
