I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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