Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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