I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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