just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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