The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
