Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
