I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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