i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
