hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
