ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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