Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
