i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
one might say we're banned from that church
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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