By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
