Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
