Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she woke up with a sticky ear
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You're like the curious george of whores
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
