when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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