i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
