it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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