he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
