He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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