do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize