the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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