so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
