And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
