I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
