are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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