Can i not drive my cunt home
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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