Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
be right there i have to get my cape
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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