i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
