Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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