Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
