Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize