I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
