it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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