Kiss
Puke
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I am mentally ready for anal.
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