so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
