apparently the secret to your success is patron
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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