I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
