Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
