If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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