I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
