Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
