HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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