Are we in a gay sports bar?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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