oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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