am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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