Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
