she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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