Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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