Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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