sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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