I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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