Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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