Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
