He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
