i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
