did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Welp...herpes.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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