I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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