Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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