so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
