I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
