talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i think i have herpe
just one?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Randomize
