bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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