HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
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I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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