Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc

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  (630): Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc http://tfl.nu/6dlb
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked

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  (770): I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked http://tfl.nu/iw27
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.

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  (843): Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17. http://tfl.nu/5ely
  Replies (80) Good night (14123) Bad night (889)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.

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  (214): Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer. http://tfl.nu/r45y
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.

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  (574): If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time. http://tfl.nu/3esg
  Replies (3) Good night (1941) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.

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  (425): I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool. (1-425): No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes. http://tfl.nu/wqbv
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.

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  (614): I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose. http://tfl.nu/hj91
  Replies (23) Good night (735) Bad night (1885)
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  (707): View more from California

  Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth

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  (707): Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth http://tfl.nu/or2s
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  (941): View more from Florida

  He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.

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  (941): He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud. http://tfl.nu/s98m
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos

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  (814): The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos http://tfl.nu/br7k
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup

  (868): View more from Trinidad and Tobago-Carib

  So no more sangria road trips?

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  (913): driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup (868): So no more sangria road trips? http://tfl.nu/l0ze
  Replies (1) Good night (327) Bad night (755)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.

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  (330): Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing. http://tfl.nu/k9wn
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place

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  (575): Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place http://tfl.nu/vq1o
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  (914): View more from New York

  bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house

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  (914): bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house http://tfl.nu/ryv7
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  (408): View more from California

  I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit

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  (408): I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit http://tfl.nu/wxxo
  Replies (1) Good night (199) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt

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