New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️