dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.