I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?